#43: The Price of a Working Mother (Part 2)

By Stephen Phinney

For those of you who are new to our postings, I have been writing on the topic of mothers working outside of the home.  In the last article, I presented the first five ramifications of working mothers; this week, I will cover the remaining five.       
In 1870, thirteen percent of the women of America worked outside of the home. Almost without exception, these were single women working in one of two fields, secretarial or nursing. By 1970, forty percent of the women of America worked outside their homes. By 1991, it was sixty-nine percent, and in 1994, it was about seventy-one percent. They are no longer only single women, but also married women and mothers who have children and teenagers at home. In 2008, over eighty-nine percent of all women worked outside of the home.   

If you are like most, you are sick to death of hearing these statistics; in fact, statistics show that you have become immune to them.  You and I rarely take the time to respond to statistics like: America holds the highest divorce rate of any free country in the world; American women abort/kill 1.5 million babies a year; only thirteen percent of our children now grow up in a family of one husband, one wife and one set of children; not to mention, the level of teen pregnancies. Crime, murder, suicide, and all types of abuses are on the rise in our “Christian nation under God.”  It does not take more than a junior high kid to conclude that there is something very wrong with our society.
Sin is like water from a broken dam – it will always flow downhill and is certain to fill every crack and crevice it comes in contact with.  The blame can be placed in many directions, but there is one ravine that is sure to absorb its flow – working mothers. The sin of devaluing of motherhood in America is what I consider one of the greatest sins known to all generations.  We live in such a godless society that women put their motherhood on hold to lead ministries or even become President of the United States, all the while their children are running to other “mothers” to find comfort and guidance.  Who are these “other mothers?”  Public or private school teachers of course.  When a mother is caught between two worlds, she typically is left without one in the end. 
SIX – CAUGHT BETWEEN TWO WORLDS:  Keep in mind that the first five is in the previous article but this principle of ramification is a tough one.  The work world is exactly that – a world in and of itself.  It is a simple truth that the field you apply your hands to becomes the home that you will serve.  If a wife or mother does not find contentment in her role as a mother or wife, she is certain to find herself with one foot in two worlds – the marketplace and the home.  Each make demands and the one that pays the best will win out on who she answers. 
Jesus said, "No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and wealth” (Matthew 6:24, NASB).

Since we just learned that no one can serve two masters, this mother will sooner or later decide which world will become her primary master and means of love, acceptance, and approval. 

SEVEN – SHE WILL CRACK UNDER PRESSURE:  Women are made by God to be the emotive aspect to all relationships, particularly in those she shares with her husband and children.  When a working mother works outside the home, she sets herself up for increased pressure spiritually, psychologically, and physically.  These three elements will produce a great deal of stress.  What she does with this stress is up to her. BUT most, eighty-three percent, divorce their first and primary master – their husbands.  As for their children, well – that is why we have daycare.

EIGHT – SHE BECOMES IRRESPONSIBLE:  This issue is no different than time management in all arenas of life.  Whatever you give your time, energy, and skill to will obviously consume that portion of investment.  Whatever the remainder of the whole is left, well – that is what is left.  We can’t make more time.  We can drink more coffee for more energy, but we cannot make more time.  When each of us needs more time, there is only one place to get it – steal it from another priority.  If a mother gives her resources to a job outside of the home, in due time, she will suffer the cost of less time with God, husband, and then children.  Any woman, man, or child who steals time designated by God for another is a thief!

NINE – SHE BECOMES A BAD ROLE MODEL:  When you meet a mother who is functioning “effectively” in two worlds, just know that she has worked her tail to the bone mastering the art of suppressing her pain.  These mothers may appear to be doing OK, but the truth being said, they are exemplifying a bad and corrupt role model for their children.  Supermoms are usually superficial moms, because they simply do not have the time to apply much more effort than that of the superficial. 

TEN – SHE IS TYPICALLY A SPENDER:  I’m not sure why, but most working mothers are “shopaholics.”  The only thing that I can stamp to this is that they somehow believe they deserve a reward for being such hard workers and having to sacrifice so much to do what they do.  Needless to say, between this issue and paying for daycare, fuel, food, etc., the “second  paycheck” is usually shot.  Careful evaluation of the deception of the “second paycheck” reveals that it is an unprofitable investment.  In fact, many women describe it as “throwing money to the wind.”  The women that make it work are rare, but the average house scenario is that it drives them deeper into debt. 

I know that my style of writing is bit “tongue and cheek,” but my heart is to assist and restore the family values of God back into biblical family.  I understand that many mothers are forcibly put into situations where they “have to work,” but that does not mean that we should not teach our children, grandchildren, or others the pure truth of God’s best versus mankind’s seconds.

It is my hope that you openly rejoice in the fullness of God’s Truth without exchanging it for a lower level of understanding that has found its way into our churches as primary doctrines.  Stand with me, my family, and many others in touting the purest form of Truth – that of, “Not I but Christ in me.”